For users of prostitution
If you are considering about going using servise of a person in prostitution, please read the following points first and reconsider if you really want to do this.1
1 We are addressing male clients in this report, as the vast majority of people who seek services of people in prostitution are male. We are aware that female persons and persons with different gender identities also seek those services.
The real background of prostitution
Unfortunately, few people are aware of the real background of prostitution and believe many of the myths that have been created in our society. Some of these myths and truths are described below. The truths are based on research, professional literature and the stories of people who have been in prostitution and later involved in help and support programmes of the Society Ključ, and who have openly and courageously shared their experiences with us.
THE PROSTITUTION MYTH: People choose become prostituted because it is a profession like any other.
THE TRUTH: At first glance, prostitution appears to be about a person agreeing to have sex with strangers for a fee, and that they have chosen to do so. But when you get to know her/his situation better, you soon realise that this decision was made because the person was forced to do so by circumstances. If she/he had had a better option, she/he would certainly have chosen that one. We say that the person was vulnerable, which means that she/he was in such a position that she/he had no real or acceptable alternative but to consent to the abuse that prostitution is.
Often, people who end up in prostitution have very little money and limited opportunities to provide for themselves (or their families). They very often come from violent families or are in a relationship with a partner who is violent towards them. Many people in prostitution have experienced childhood sexual abuse. Some are drug and/or alcohol addicts. It is common for drug addicts to be forced into prostitution by their dealers to pay off debts. In Slovenia and in most other European countries, many people in prostitution are foreigners from non-EU countries (Eastern Europe, South America, Africa, the Balkans) or from poorer EU countries (Romania, Bulgaria, etc.). Being foreigners makes them even more vulnerable, which makes it easier for pimps to take advantage of them. Often they have to accept prostitution in order to ensure their livelihood and/or that of their children/other family members. Transgender people are also particularly vulnerable, forced by stigma (because they cannot get a job) to resort to prostitution as their only livelihood option. However, a significant number of people are forced into prostitution not only by life circumstances, but also by the people who forced them into it.
The fact is that prostitution is not a profession like any other, as people in prostitution have been forced into it by their life circumstances. The consequences of prostitution, which can be very serious, also shouldn’t be ignored. Sex with someone you do not really want to have sex with can have severe and long-lasting mental health consequences. Even if a person in prostitution consents to sex with strangers, it still has a bad effect on them. People in prostitution often have mental health problems (depression, anxiousness, addiction, often self-harming and often suicidal) and find themselves in relationships that are harmful to them.
Do you really want to contribute to the exploitation of vulnerable people?
THE PROSTITUTION MYTH: People choose to prostitute themselves because they enjoy it.
THE TRUTH: Girls and women in prostitution do not enjoy sex with clients. They often feel fear, shame, disgust and guilt in their work. They often “switch off” their emotions and bodily sensations (professionally called dissociation) as a way of surviving in difficult stressful situations. They also often use alcohol or drugs to help them survive prostitution and violence. Even if a girl or a woman who is prostituting herself says that she wants to do it and that she does it for relaxation, it is very likely because her pimp has told her to say so or to get more money. She often doesn’t dare to disobey her pimp’s instructions.
Do you really want to contribute to the mental and physical ill-health of others?
People engaged in prostitution are not exclusively female, but since they are most often women, we use the feminine form.”
THE PROSTITUTION MYTH: People in prostitution work only for themselves.
THE TRUTH: In reality, people in prostitution in most cases have a pimp who tells them how, when, for whom and for how much money they have to work. Most of the time, even if they choose to work for a pimp, people in prostitution do not know what the conditions of work will be because the pimp doesn’t tell them the whole truth. They are often threatened if they don’t do as the pimp tells them. Sometimes the pimp himself invents a debt that the woman in prostitution has to pay him, so she gets a very small share of the money she earns, the rest being taken from her by the pimp. She has little chance to resist the pimp, because in such cases the pimp can be violent towards her. He often threatens to harm her loved ones. She must be always at pimp’s and clients’ disposal, and it is up to the pimp to decide when they have free time. They are put under pressure. They are often manipulated (because pimps know they have to earn a living, so they exploit this or blackmail them with threats of violence and telling their parents what they are doing). They are given instructions on what they have to wear and how to answer to customers questions. Clients or pimps often expect from these girls/women things that they have not agreed to and they are forced to comply. Sometimes the pimps also force them to commit crimes (e.g. they have to steal for them, sell drugs). They are subjected to constant surveillance, and physical, sexual and psychological violence is very common. Economic violence is also common – money is taken from them, earnings are restricted, debts are created for which the girls are not even responsible. They are often forced to use alcohol and drugs.
THE PROSTITUTION MYTH: People in prostitution decide how many clients they will have per day and can choose their clients.
THE TRUTH: Girls and women often have little or no choice in the matter and are forced to have more than ten clients a day or until they earn the required amount, which can be very high. They also often have no choice as to whether to have sex with or without protection (condom). If they oppose unprotected sex, some men remove the condom during the sex itself. Women experience feelings similar to rape. They are also often forced to have sex with pimps or their friends who never pay for their services.
They also often experience physical and psychological violence from their clients. Sometimes the clients steal the money they have earned, do not keep to their agreement, insult and disrespect women, and treat them as property rather than persons.
THE PROSTITUTION MYTH: People in prostitution are healthy women who see a doctor regularly.
THE TRUTH: Girls and women in prostitution are very rarely tested for sexually transmitted infections and their pimps often prevent them to contact professionals. Very often, foreign women do not have a regular residence status and do not have health insurance. Women in prostitution also live in fear of the ever-present risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection and of becoming pregnant. It is common for clients to tear or remove condoms just before having sex.
So, by using prostitution services, you may also be risking your own health, as you cannot be sure of the health of the person who will provide you with the service.
THE PROSTITUTION MYTH: By legalizing prostitution, there would be less rape and violence.
THE TRUTH: Prostitution is already legalized in some countries, but it turned out that this did not regulate the field, that women in prostitution were not more protected or provided with health care as a result. Research has also shown that regularly visiting women in prostitution is associated with more rapes, not fewer.
“Prostitution as one of the forms of human trafficking.”
Exploitation of prostitution is a form of human trafficking. Girls and women in prostitution are often forced into this work by another person (relative, partner, acquaintance, boss…) who is a member of a criminal organization. Many times, women (especially foreigners) agree to work in Slovenia in some bar, nightclub or massage parlor and do not expect that they will have to become prostitutes, because the boss hasn’t told them this at the beginning (it is also not in their contract), and then force them to do so. They are often forced by physical, sexual and psychological violence. They are beaten, insulted, threatened with murder, threatened with humiliation (they rape them, take photos of them naked, then threaten to show these photos to their parents), gang raped, lied to that they owe money and that they can only repay it by prostituting themselves. They are threatened with revenge if they stopped working for them. In the Republic of Slovenija, this aspect of prostitution is a criminal offence, even if the exploited person initially consented to this situation, and is punishable by imprisonment and a fine. The user of the services of a person who is known to be a victim of human trafficking is also criminally liable.
Also think about how, in the long run, visiting people in prostitution can affect you and your relationships with others …
As a rule, using the services of persons in prostitution also affects the wider attitude towards girls and women. If you experience girls and women as objects that are there to satisfy your needs, this is how you will look at the girls and women around you, your loved ones, friends, (future) partners. Sexuality is not something that you are entitled to, because no one is obligated to have sex.
You can’t be sure if the person in prostitution you came to for service is healthy or has any of the sexually transmitted infections, so you can risk your physical health if you don’t properly protect yourself from such infections.
If you are in an existing partnership and your partner does not agree with the fact that you seek the services of people in prostitution, this can of course have a bad effect on the relationship with your partner, because it brings concealment, lies and infidelity into your relationship. In addition, you can put your partner’s physical health at risk if you pass on a sexually transmitted infection to him/her.
People in prostitution are in a vulnerable position, so they already have less power than their clients. In such a situation, clients abuse this power more quickly and are also psychologically and/or physically violent towards people in prostitution. Because of the imbalanced power relationship, clients who use the services of prostitutes may feel that money also buys them the right to violence. This gives them a false sense of importance and omnipotence. You can continue to seek this feeling only in ways that are easier for you (it is easier to pay for a service than to put effort into a relationship or professional success) and harmful to other people. As a result, this can have a devastating effect on your other relationships and areas where you could exercise your power in healthy ways that are appropriate and harmless to other people. You can adequately satisfy your need for power (which is a normal human need) through leadership, setting and realizing new challenges, socializing and cooperating with people with a lot of power, influencing others with a view to the common good, participating in competitive sports activities and games …
